doitforthevibe | IC Inbox

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IC Inbox - MoM

	**You've reached: CISSSSCOOOOOOO RAMOOOOOOON. I'm off doing something more interesting than answering the phone, so you know what to do after the beep!***
ｖｏｉｃｅ－ｔｅｘｔ－ｖｉｄｅｏ－ａｃｔｉｏｎ

[ *Said in an echoing voice not matching the rest of the message, much like an announcer in a stadium.
In fact it's an audio clip of Barry Allen's voice that Cisco has pieced into the rest of his outgoing message. ]

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CISSSSSSSCO RAMOOOOOOOON

I was wondering if I could ask for some advice
Love advice
Since you are the love doctor these days

[ nobody goes on a reality tv show like the bachelor and doesn't have a few decent lines about love and how it lifts everyone up where they belong. and it's cisco. he knows shit™. ]

BARTHOLOMEEEEEWWWWWWW ALLLLEEEEEEEENNNN

you know you can always come to me for anything.
ESPECIALLY love advice.
what can i do you for?

Have we ever talked about whether or not Valentine's Day is a thing we, as Team Flash, support?
Before you even answer, think about this
Why am I telling someone I like them on a day that flowers and chocolates are like $5 more expensive instead of any other day?
I would buy two boxes of chocolates that are more expensive than they are on February 13 and February 15 for you because you are worth it
But is this really romantic?
What is the meaning of Valentine's Day?
Is your show going to cover an episode of that?

[ is barry seeking love advice or is he seeking spoilers?

]

the subject of whether or not Team Flash officially approves of valentines day as a whole has not come up.
but the reason you buy the flowers and chocolates at markup prices is so you can go to your loved ones and say,
"here. i love you so much i paid more than MSRP for these tokens of my affection."
the romance lies not in the chocolates and flowers themselves, but in the effort you took to give them.

idk if valentines is a thing on odins world. whether therell be a valentines episode remains to be seen.

"Here, I love you so much I bought these chocolates and didn't even eat them all!"
You would think buying ice-cream and not touching it would be enough. I was thinking of drawing a love heart on the box but I think the ink will bleed
Is it lame if you buy the flowers they share a name with?
It's lame, isn't it?
It is /o\

But you'll tell me if there is a Valentine's episode right?
A ;) or a :)
You know
Subtle facial twitches ...
Breach to my place to give me a ;) and then breach back and they won't even know you had ;) at me
Genius

honestly, i think when someone has a fire name its almost expected.
so you either go for the tried and true bouquet theyll be waiting for, or you surprise them with a bouquet of everything but the namesake flower.

i promise you, the second i know whether theres a v-day ep, youll know.

Do you think Iris likes flowers?
Should I just get her the ice-cream I ate? That's like 20 tubs. That's probably not great because then I'll eat 19 of those tubs ... and half of hers.
Should I be getting her something as the Flash, too?
Did I give you something as Barry and the Flash for your birthday?
This superhero identity thing needs to come with a manual.

she worked at a flower shop. any flowers you give her would have to be pretty unique and/or impressive.
you have only ever given me one present at a time.
youre the Flash for other people. youre Barry for us.
maybe stay away from edible presents unless you trust yourself to resist the temptation.

Can I please submit a blanket apology for any time in the future when I eat your food?
I swear I didn't mean it, even if your name was on it.

[ barry allen, aged 73, still being accused of eating all the cookies in the cookie jar (and that accusation being correct). ]

[ cisco may be familiar with the following example of barry allen having a conversation with himself: ]

Do you know what else Iris would like ...?
She hasn't said anything anywhere that I can find
And I can't give her anything to write about because the Flash <<<< a paper bag until I eat my lunch
And that's not romantic
Unless I give her flowers spelled out in her name!
But what if the arrangement is too small? Or too big? Or just not the right color?
Do you know what her favorite color is? If I make it red it's going to be too self-involved

Can we just cancel Valentine's Day? Postpone it until February 2020?

you know you have an excuse, i will not judge unless its my special cholula burrito in which case you owe me big time.

lucky for you, the Flash does not have a monopoly on the color red. it is in fact also a relevant color for valentines. though imho, you cant go wrong with an elegant white. especially if youre buying enough flowers to spell anything.

in terms of non-floral gifts, you can always give her writing supplies? notebooks? pens? a bluetooth tablet keyboard?

[ barry spends one second mentally checking his list of all the food he's eaten that wasn't his ... cholula burritos were not a part of it. phew. ]

Isn't white for weddings, though?

[ oh, barry, you sweet speed force child. ]

She has a lot of pens
Pens that I steal from her and don't replace when I finish writing with them, yes, but that's not the point
I don't know if I should make Valentine's Day special or just be like
Here's a card with a flower in it and some chocolates I didn't eat I choo-choo-choose you bye

I'm overthinking this
I need to figure out what Iris likes and then amplify it by 1000

white can be a multi-occasion color.

maybe nice pens? monogrammed pens?

she likes you. maybe give her an experience rather than a gift. book a weekend getaway for you two.

[ "mrs west-allen" with lightning bolts and flowers is too long for a pen. he's checked. ]

[ the one thing he hasn't, though ... it's that. how did he miss it? upon reading cisco's suggestion (numerous times in the span of a second), he wonders how he didn't think of it first. he should've. the feeling that it's so obvious it'd elbowed him in the face a few times is right there. ]

[ his suit's cutting the circulation to his brain, clearly. ]

You're a genius
Do you have a shirt that says that?
I'll get you one
10

i dont need 10 shirts that say im a genius.
if youre going to get me any shirts, just get me something cool and pop culture-y. you know my style.

Can I get you a tshirt for each day of the week?
7?
I promise this won't mean I'm not obligated to get you a Christmas gift for the next 7 years.

oh no, youre obligated. comes with best friend duty.

[ shit. what has he gotten himself into? ]

On second thought
I might need to resign as your best friend
I'm afraid I can't top a custom designed tshirt for every day of the week
It was nice knowing you :(

you dont have to constantly 1-up yourself.
you just gotta get me a bare minimum something.
i promise ill like whatever you get me.

and besides...
you asked me for advice on what to get Iris.
just vice versa, and ask Iris what to get me.

Does this whole not needing to 1-up myself also include the Barrys from other Earths?
What happens if they're better at gift giving?
I need to stay on the top of my game, Cisco from Earth-1 Ramon
I can't lose you as my best friend to another Barry
He sucks

trust me, you dont gotta work hard to 1-up the Barrys from other Earths.
youre the only Barry whos my best friend.
the only one wholl ever BE my best friend.

DUDE

[ hearteyes motherfucker ]

Do you want to be my valentine?
Broentine?
Whatever's the equivalent to Galentine
It's superior to the usual Valentine

Bartholomew Henry Allen.
i would be honored to be your broentine.

Francisco Genius Ramon
You're going to make me cry and make it look like I'm crying over my burger

Please tell Francisco Jr that I'm sorry you're not his Valentine
He was simply too slow
And stuck in his ball
But still, too slow

i would argue that thats not my middle name but i actually like that better than the real thing.

hey, hes the smartest chinchilla, not the fastest.
its only to be expected he got beat out.

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IC Inbox - MoM

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